The alarm goes off at 6 am. This is where you decide to go running, because you are that kind of person. Also so you can tell your colleagues what a morning person you are. You make sure to fill every minute of the day with something productive, because all the ‘Get Things Done’ books and the entrepreneur podcasts you listen to when walking from A to B tell you that’s the only way to be successful. And we all know that’s the most important thing on this earth – to be succesful. How else are we supposed to calculate our self-worth?
By 3.30 pm I was ready to get out of the door and enjoy the day. The sun was shining on my face and the air was fresh. Now, it would have made a lovely story, if I could tell you that the reason I stepped outside at 3.30pm was because I was working damn hard until then or that I was in the midst of saving planet earth. But I wasn’t. The first time I opened my eyes was at 10 am. That was when I decided, I would skip ahead and take the 30-minute nap I had scheduled for later that day. I did absolutely nothing until 3.30 pm, so I guess that is when my ‘day started’.
When my phone wakes me up in the morning or early noon by someone calling me, I never answer it – unless it’s my mom of course. I wait for it to go to voicemail. Meanwhile I am kind of making voice exercises, so it doesn’t sound like I just woke up. “Hello, this is Cassandra” said about seven times and a few “hmm hmm”s tend to do it. The thing is, there’s this shame connected to sleeping in and the thought of the person on the phone saying: “where you still asleep?” is terrifying. It hits you like the person said: “Wow, you are lazy.” ‘Cause we all know that your day doesn’t start until you do something productive. So if you haven’t done anything the whole day, I guess you lost a day. Ouch.
I am one of those people, who feel guilty doing nothing, even though I know, it is necessary for me. I am after all sitting down writing this because of it. We mark it as wasted time. I like to think of myself as a creative person. I like to find unique and unusual ways of doing and connecting things. Lazy days are my inspiration. The days where I wake up, go to school and then go to work, I find it hard to even be aware of things during the day. I find my days empty, because I am often too busy and too into being the best to pay attention to my mind. All emotions from feeling ashamed to feeling ‘who on earth is so important they can decide whether or not I can sleep in on a day off’ are the sources to figure out what makes me happy. I hope this post will follow the path of the sweatpants. Once being a trademark of laziness itself with unfortunate quotations linked to it such as “sweatpants are a sign of defeat” (Karl Lagerfeld) to suddenly finding chic heels at the end of them – and even being hyped by this era’s top model Gigi Hadid.
I recently read an article stating that the reason why we feel guilty doing nothing, is because we think that business equals worth. The busier we are, the higher our self-worth grow. I guess that means, if you do nothing, you are nothing. Again; ouch. We keep nagging ourselves with the phrase: “this is how I am supposed to be” instead of “this is how I am”. How can you ever live up to something that isn’t even you? The ironic thing is, we keep staying busy, so our time isn’t meaningless, but isn’t filling our life with things just for that matter kind of meaningless too? Can we in fact make sweatpants the new favorite item?